Before mankind had learned to dance
Or even sing a tune
We’ve mapped the months
By measuring the phases of the moon
And as the year progresses
And contingencies were planned for
The names of months became bound up
In all the things they stand for
April is the month
That has been designated “Greed”
That’s when we pay the IRS
More money than they need
I gather all my paperwork
And when I do the math
I find that April also
Is the month we honor Wrath
November stands for Gluttony
O, how the world is bleak-ened
When we all eat incessantly
Across a four-day weekend
August is the month for Sloth
The weariness profound
And something that we poets
Pursue the whole year round
December is the month
New car commercials pay a visit
We see those giant bows
And the Envy is exquisite
I live and I let live
I wouldn’t think of being rude
Gracious coexistence
Is a dream to be pursued
Name a month for Leadership
Or name it for Success
Name it for Affection
And we all could answer “Yes”
But now I understand
How the apocalypse begins
When we name our months in honor
Of the seven deadly sins
