Poet Laureate of the Hugh Hewitt Show
The week's events, told in rhyme.
Tarzana Joe turns the headlines — and your biggest occasions — into verse worth reading aloud. Heard nationwide. Written, sometimes, just for you.
As heard on
The Hugh Hewitt Show
A weekly feature on the nationally syndicated program — "our Poet Laureate."
Fresh off the pen
The latest verse
Nine new poems on the week that was — politics, faith, and the occasional set of overpriced golf clubs.
Take Flight
I saw the Falcon booster land The world is new and brave I have to think that old Von Braun Is singing in his grave It settled on its landing pad Tall and straight it stood Just the way those films he made With Disney said it would And Goddard must be smiling Having...
The Third Coming
Religious folks AND scientistsKnow worlds are one day ending Sooner more than later The way that things are trending That’s why our good friend Elon Is stocking up on TANG For when this curtain closes With a whimper or a bang For some, a final nightmare For others,...
Put Me In, Coach
As the current football seasons Were expectantly approaching I pondered if success Was due to players or to coaching Does landing at the top of Of all the standings and divisions Depend upon the outcome of Performance or decisions The question’s as perplexing As the...
4 Dates 4 Questions
Spring will never come again no April without pain each April the emancipator’s slain Mothers will there ever be a Sunday in December when we will not remember November never passes until I shed a tear year after year after year And never in Septemberwill I look into...
Dedication of the City of Rosemead, CA 9/11 Memorial
Not just the steel that strength and courage built and one man dared to cross astonishing the world with beauty and bravado Not just the steel that stood for years that stood for work and trade and peace that greeted all who came to see the city and the lady The lady...
Mark Schurmeier 9/11/ Peace Fund
Wake Forest University Wfu.edu He didn’t only light a room He did away with dark An MBA who sang and danced I give you my friend, Mark He capered in a play I wrote Don’t worry, I won’t quote it No need to say he played the part Much better than I wrote it So gifted...
September 11, 2019
We must admit that we’ve been changed Once bold, now fearful We watch our words and what we think Lest we provoke another rage How tearful. We wage war upon ourselves Deny not only what we see But feel Or look the other way although we know The wounds we fail to treat...
September 10
We want to travel back in timeNot to the days of yoreBut to that age of innocenceWe call “The Day Before” When, upon reflection The world somehow seemed fairer And planning each tomorrow Second thoughts were rarer Where we could look into the air And see a plane glide...
C-SPAN Poem
A wise man said back in the days When wisdom was well-paid “You never want to see the way That sausages are made” The meat that’s ground The spice that’s used The way the casings burst Pray you never witness The worst things about wurst It’s also said of movies Please...
Not Just Politics
A poem for every occasion
The same wit and craft you hear on the radio — made personal for the moments that matter most.
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Between two covers
Buy my book — It Only Hurts When I Rhyme
A collection of the best poems by talk-radio poet Tarzana Joe. Joe takes on politics and politicians with rhyme and humor on topics that range from electric cars to tooth decay. Delight your conservative friends — or annoy your liberal ones. A book they won't be able to put down, except to toss it across the room.
And the new one is here too: The 2nd Best of Tarzana Joe. Find it at the same sellers — just search "Tarzana Joe."