While Bernie wrote the platform
And while Biden took a nap
Pundits were discussing
The Enthusiasm Gap
It’s hard to rally voters
With the specter of you losing
When the speeches are recorded
And the candidate is snoozing
It’s hard to make the argument
That everything went swell
When you’re beaten in the ratings by
The New Saved by the Bell
Why watch a nomination
When you know ahead who won it
Why read yourself a thriller
When you know before who done it
I know that in conventions
All the beats are tightly planned
The affection is affected
And the ecstasy is canned
But in a normal gathering
Not everything is certain
And the audience has hopes to catch
A glimpse behind the curtain
That’s why the Grand Old Party
Should take pains to make some news
A song by Mitch McConnell
Or some stand-up from Ted Cruz
Perhaps a string of interviews
Arranged “ad seriatim”
As Trump takes on all commers
Bring ‘em if you got ‘em
So fire up the barbeque
And pour yourself a scotch
One against a hundred
Now that’s something I would watch
