When I review my failings
(And, oh, the time it takes)
I see the bad decisions
And the cascade of mistakes
Recalling what I tried to do
When I knew I couldn’t
The girls I should have dated
And all the ones I shouldn’t
The wrong turns that I’ve taken
On urban roads and rural
Leading me to ask myself
Does “faux pas” have a plural
I can’t pretend they don’t exist
I wish that I could fake it
Take my life-long etch-a-sketch
And vigorously shake it
But soft! Perhaps there is a path
To carry out my mission
I’ll just become a Democrat
And then a politician
Positions that I’ve taken
And the tweets that I regret
Those will be deleted
So I don’t have to forget
The ones who have been whispering
Their doubts behind my back
Now will sing my praises
And ask to join my P.A.C.
The policies I voted for
That then became disasters
Will be loaded into dumpsters
And rolled away on casters
My blunders will go bye-bye
And my faults go undetected
My prospects once thought waning
Will now be resurrected
I’m sorry to have said it
But these are just the facts
Who says that in America
There are no second acts
