California’s sunny
But the rents are way too high
I need to make some money
So it’s time to say buh-bye
My wife says we should look into
Some leisure or resort-land
But all things being equal
I think we’ll move to Portland
Portland is progressive
And a welcoming community
I heard on CNN that it’s
Ablaze with opportunity
It has a lot of culture
While LA ain’t got any
I can go to their museum
And see the Portland Penny
I grew up on mean New York streets
The Portland streets are meaner
And they grow the finest roses
Their side of Pasadena
It is a green oasis
And diverse as it can be
Well, one thing they don’t have
Is anyone who thinks like me
Now, can I make a living?
I think the way that I would
Was get myself a franchise
For plexiglass and plywood
Opening a business
Is not an easy ride
So I think I’m gonna hafta
Sell some spray paint on the side
LA is really over
It’s such a make believe-land
And the best thing about Portland
At least it isn’t Cleveland
