If you asked me back in grade school
Would the day be cold or hot?
I fired up my Philco
And I tuned in Willard Scott
The morning paper on my porch
Was clearly self-explaining
It’s sunny, if Page One is dry
If wet, then it was raining
The weathermen I saw back then
Didn’t wear shorts skirts and lashes
They dressed up clouds in raincoats
And the sun in big moustaches
The networks had no radar
Back then, they all were thrifty
And accurate predictions?
Well, they averaged fifty-fifty
My dad didn’t like that weather guy
I’d say he was quite rowdy
Especially when shoveling
Two feet of “parlty-cloudy”
But nowadays we’ve come so far
We’ve honed it to a science
And there’s one man in all the world
On whom we place reliance
Are storms on the horizon
Will the winds be whipping through me
Should I carry my umbrella
Will the day be bright or gloomy
Will rain or hail or sleet or snow
Set my tires sliding
For answers to these questions
Simply ask Joe Biden
For every time his son and Joe
And friends would get together
They’d share a little cognac
And they’d talk about the weather
He must be very good at this
And I’m not being funny
Because all Joe’s predictions
Well, they were right on the money
