My influence is meager
And I don’t have much dominion
But still I’d like to promulgate
A contrary opinion
Its widely held by those awake
And even those who slumber
That Justices on SCOTUS
Be an odd, not even number
For in deliberations
As we used to learn in school
About important questions
The majority should rule
And as past generations heard
In all their civics classes
The worst thing for a nation
Would be critical impasses
That a ninth vote should be seated
Isn’t part of the debate
But at least from where I’m standing
I just think there should be eight
For the most important issues
(and here comes the money quote)
Ought not to be decided on
A single person’s vote
Who can understand a statute
From a peon to the Pres
IF a bunch of learned people
Can’t agree on what it says?
After granting certiorari
And giving it a try
I don’t think the world would perish
If they ended in a tie
It wouldn’t bring the dawn of chaos
Or the dictates of a mob
It would mean the legislators
Would just have to do their job
Now I would simply like to say
That in my time remaining
On matters of great urgency
I think I’ll be abstaining
