The VP picked her running mate The only question’s now How much of what Tim Walz believes Will he soon disavow   What issues and convictions He’s held for long duration Are subject to a process of Excessive moderation   It’s not like it’s uncommon Yes, we’ve already seen it So much of what the [...]

When I review my failings (And, oh, the time it takes) I see the bad decisions And the cascade of mistakes   Recalling what I tried to do When I knew I couldn’t The girls I should have dated And all the ones I shouldn’t   The wrong turns that I’ve taken On urban roads [...]

In the aftermath of Zeros Dropping death out of the blue The country stood as one And knew precisely what to do   When the earthquake shook my city And the walls around us fell Everyone was certain We could climb out of that hell   When the airplanes hit the towers And the skies [...]

They sent us home from school They didn’t know that he was dead My mom answered the door They shot the President I said   She heard what I was saying But she didn’t understand it I might as well have said Hey Mom, the Martians landed   We watched the moving pictures As we [...]

Some say that Biden’s “problem” Is clearly insurmountable But I say his infirmity Has made him unaccountable   The press who have been hearing For years his load of bunk’ll still say, “He’s so endearing” Just like your crazy uncle   And no matter if you think his  term Has been the best or bad [...]

I could sing about debating But you wouldn’t like the song Cause the problem with our system is The format is all wrong.   The early ones are overrun They look like Friars’ roasts The questioners don’t moderate They act like game show hosts   When Steve and Abe debated The sessions lasted hours And [...]

Wiser men than I have warned That looks can be deceiving While others chant the slogan That seeing is believing   And though the things we’re seeing Are amazingly unpleasant The cameras recording them Are clear and omnipresent   Each morning we wake up to view (Assembled while we’re dreaming) Recordings of the ruling class [...]

The valley that I live in once Was only farming furrows Until the land was purchased By a man named Edgar Burroughs   He saw the views were lovely And the climate, fairly nice Did I forget to mention That his middle name was Rice   He bought the land with profits From his movies [...]

I have some strong opinions And this one is a beauty Even if you aren’t there We’re all on jury duty   And if I were the foreman I’d send the judge a note Reminding him as citizens That we all have a vote   And now that we’re sequestered And we’ve made our introductions [...]

We were told this week by scientists We’re standing on the brink There’s a black hole in the Milky Way That’s closer than you think   And if the headline panic Is any good barometer We’ll all get sucked inside Before we smash into Andromeda   But compared to other happenings Both horrible and gory [...]