The best folks that I’ve ever met
I’m sure that you can guess
Are the noble men and women
Working for the IRS
You say we have too many
But I wish that there were more of them
And if I had a daughter
I hope she’d marry four of them
They’re kind and sweet and generous
Loyal just like Lassie
I don’t think it’s right
When you compare them to the Stasi
Of course, the code is complex
It’s filled with many mines
But letters from the IRS
Are just like Valentines
You’re welcome in Tarzana
But I haven’t got much dough
If I make 400 thousand
I’ll be sure to let you know
The other group that’s jolly good
Which no one can deny
Are all the special agents
Working for the FBI
Every one I’ve met
Has been a shaker or a mover
In the great tradition
Of the late J Edgar Hoover
Come and see me anytime
I’ll open all the locks
Nothing in my house compares
To Sandy Berger’s socks
The moral of my story
Which is how good poems end
Life is pretty rosy
When the deep state is your friend
