There was a UN document
Called RCP eight-five
That said the changing climate
Would roast everything alive
They said our bell was tolling
Dingering and dongering
They used its dire conclusions
For all their fearful mongering
The polar bears would melt away
We’d find them cold and clammy
The temperature in Greenland
Would be warmer than Miami
The Boston Globe said, “No More Snow”
And likely no more skiing
And talking heads across the dial
Were breathless in agreeing
They said a hundred vile things
By climate change were causable
But now they’ve changed their tune a bit
They call their work implausible
Right wing “kooks” are quick to pounce
And we don’t think it’s funny
Because those awful warnings
Cost us lives, careers, and money
Not so fast, the UN says
Some fears were overstated
But we’re still in a crisis
And that cannot be debated
May you suffer moderation
May all your partners leave you
Don’t tell us that you got it wrong
Then ask us to believe you
Ask Goddard or Copernicus
Big Bang or Steady State
Don’t call yourself a scientist
Unless you can debate