When the Biden Stimulus was passed, I wrote this poem in 2021.
Schumer’s Trillions
The Senate says a trillion
But the House would like some more
They’d want it to be five
But could compromise at four
Soon they’ll reach agreement
But Joe’s signature won’t end it
Once they’ve gone and passed it
It will be a chore to spend it.
I’ve done the mathematics
For my number-challenged peers
Assuming they spend evenly
Across the next four years
Let’s say it’s just 4 trillion
Then they’ll have to find a way
To pay out 2 point 7 billion
Each and every day
To do the job completely
I’d invoke a higher power
To spend a hundred million bucks
Each and every hour
I think that such audacity
Demands we pay respects
But who on earth has stamina
To sign so many checks
There is just no way to responsibly spend that much money…and now I see that was the plan. And so…today’s poem:
W & F
When leaders made their budgets
And all those shortfalls faced
They told us that they’d fill the gaps
By finding fraud and waste
They’d fight for their constituents
And never would relent
Promising they’d scrutinize
Where every penny went
They said it like they meant it
From center, left, and right
Asking us to trust
Their unrelenting oversight
Pundits would just chuckle
O, how their eyes would roll
Giving their disdain
To both Bill Clinton and Bob Dole
We heard the phrase so often
Until we didn’t care
Giving it the gravity
Of “legal, safe, and rare.”
But scammers have discovered
And they know who to thank
One party uses waste and fraud
Like it’s a platform plank
Oversight is overlooked
There isn’t any doubt
Vote for me and I’ll make sure
To get that money out
The treasury is busted
And taxpayers abused
They weigh success by money spent
And not the way it’s used
If it weren’t so wasteful
It might be even funny
A trillion here, a trillion there
And soon, you’ve got real money.