My favorite month was February
When I was a kid
We had two separate holidays for Presidents
We did.
But the man who named the city
He made the woke folks tingly
So we celebrate collectively
As not to praise him singly
We jettisoned Columbus Day
It wasn’t to their likings
But overlooked Lief Erickson
(You know about those Vikings)
Churchill’s off the British Pound
Perhaps for Harry Potter?
No, it’s been decided
It’s a hedgehog or an otter
They pushed aside Paul Bunyon
They said he was a myth
And the graceless Philly Flyers
They cancelled poor Kate Smith
Trump’s name on a theater
It made them mad and phlegm-ish
They want to stick with JFK
A name without a blemish
From the wrath of liberals
Not one man escapes
They’re cancelling THEIR heroes now
I call that sour grapes
The funny thing about the left
And this is really bats
They still wear Che Guevara shirts
And Chairman Mao green hats
Let’s do away with holidays
They’re far too esoteric
But if we have to celebrate
Let’s make them all generic
(So, what are you doing for the long
Poets’ Day weekend?)