The market is in shambles and
The border’s a disaster
That guy who says, “The End is Near”
Now says it’s coming faster
Those of us with cooler heads
Perceive a course correction
We hold out hope the cavalry
Will come with the election
We seek out candid candidates
Who offer real solutions
And try to fill their coffers
With our campaign contributions
And that, folks, is the incident
From which my problem stems
Because I gave last time, my phone
Is flooded with DMs
“Perhaps you have forgotten”
Or “We think it slipped your mind…”
Evolving into texts that are
A little more unkind
“We can’t believe you haven’t”
They send ten texts an hour
They text me on the golf course
And they text me in the shower
You sure have been persistent
Didn’t know you had it in you
I’ve taken to replying STOP
But still the texts continue
I think that what you’re doing
Is really self-defeating
I for one do not respond
To dunning and brow-beating
So candidates out raising cash
I want you all to know
You can mail me you can call me
But please, don’t text me, bro!
