In states that they call battlegrounds
From Maine to Pennsylvania
The networks are producing
A show called Scandalmania
 
The slanders, now so numerous
That in their quest to list them
The media will activate
The emergency broadcast system
 
So that they may infect you
With a new dose of hysteria
You’ll soon be asked to tune in to
A station in your area.
 
There, those hosts will gleefully
In solemn celebration
Share the pale particulars
Of each new revelation
 
When Trump rebuilt the Wollman Rink
The skaters thought it nice
But now an un-named source has said
He used substandard ice.
 
And when he ran the Taj Mahal
(Oh, where do I begin)
Whenever guests would gamble
The house would always win
 
Most of his associates
Are either creeps or cons
The gilding on his mirrors
Isn’t gold, it’s bronze!
 
The treaties that he brokers
Will lead to war, not peace
He hates the lowly soldier
But he loves him them police
 
Deep State civil servants
So prone to introspection
Are primed to blow their whistles
In the weeks before election
 
So, when you see them singing
And dusting off their sandals
Remember they live in a swamp
With its own share of scandals