All the News?

“All the news that’s fit to print”
A famous masthead boasts
The source of information–
Well, at least for both our coasts

Its editors portray the world
The way that they assess it
Its stylebook sets standards
For reporters who express it

I say the things I have to
In the present tense, declarative
The only news they’re printing
Is the news that fits the narrative

If […]

By |May 25th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Sorry Poetry Lovers, On Vacation (?)

Dear friends who like the radio poems and have been thinking of commissioning a Tarzana Joe
poem for a loved one…I have been having some health issues and been in and out of the hospital over the last two weeks.
For the time being, I am not going to accept any new custom poem requests. […]

By |May 23rd, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Joe Throws the First Stone

Of all the pleasures I have known
One is NOT a kidney stone

It makes a person curse and swear
In language that I shall not share

A ripping riff of innard shreddin’
That has one hope for Armageddon

But I’d take this for all my crimes,
Than read the bleedin’ New York Times

Or lose to teams I hate the most
Than […]

By |May 19th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Straw Man

For eight years, I was famous
I was mentioned every day
Then since back in November
It’s as if I went away

Noted as notorious
For villainy and vice
It’s been said that I’m a menace
Now that isn’t very nice

I was there at every rally
But the guy you never saw
I’m the one no one can follow
I’m the man made out of […]

By |May 10th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

On Her Way to Spinning

The Falcons were amazing
They would take it in a laugh
They were on their way to winning
Then they played the second half

And the Indians had rallied
They would finally end the drought
They were on their way to winning
And we know how that turned out

Once the score was nutin’ nutin’
I was feeling full of pluck
I was on my […]

By |May 5th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Death and Texas (uh, Taxes)

We all agree the IRS is cruel
And can’t be trusted
We know the code is crummy
And that rates should be adjusted

Of course, it’s all so complex
And a subject for the sages
The last time it was “simplified”
It grew a thousand pages

On Wednesday, last, the President
He outlined his agenda
The Democrats reacted
With a crisp “Return to Sender”

Remember now, […]

By |April 28th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments


I’ve always been an underdog
That’s fine, ‘cause don’t forget
When no one thinks you’re gonna win
You’ll never be upset

And as a sometime-winner
I think it’s kind of neat
When you snatch a thrilling victory
From probable defeat

In “Shattered” two reporters
Tell a story, contradictory
Drowning in defeat
When it sure looked like certain victory

The outcome of that evening
Sent her poor supporters reeling
For […]

By |April 21st, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Premature Evaluation

Columnists and commentators
Have, in their own ways,
Begun evaluation of
Trump’s first one hundred days

As we, in rhyme and reason
This analysis explore
I think I should point out
That this is just day 84

But as we’ve seen in history
That goes back to the Greeks
Nothing’s gonna happen in
The next 2 or so weeks

There won’t be some surprises
No pronouncements, thought bizarre
No […]

By |April 13th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

National Poetry Month

“April is the cruelest month,”
A famous poet said
His dreary observation
Keeps repeating in my head

And so it seems appropriate
And somehow, sadly fitting
That April honors poetry
At least from where I’m sitting

That I have had a chance to write
I cheer with great Thanksgiving
But speaking from experience–
It’s sure hard to earn a living

Thus, when you said last Friday
(I […]

By |April 7th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Dead Parrot Poem

There’s a MEME that’s out there posting
And it’s, kind of, going viral
That Obamacare’s in trouble
And it’s, sort of, in a spiral

That it’s ceased to be dynamic
Of its breath, there’s little left
Under water, doomed and done for
Of its life, it is bereft

There are those, though, who dispute this
And contend it isn’t true
They insist it’s only resting
Lovely […]

By |March 30th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments