All hail to California
Where teeming waters play
Once again, the Golden State
Is showing us the way
It’s leading politicians
All are charlatans and shills
That’s why the local businesses
Are heading for the hills
The party that’s in power
Can do anything it pleases
So sanctuary’s given out
To medieval diseases
If you’ve got a problem
You can take it to the Hague
Here we’re warm and welcoming
To typhus and the plague
Our ethnic studies guidelines
Are new and unconventional
To those of you offended
That was strictly unintentional
The Hollywood establishment
Is Sodomandgomorian
Public school performance
Is nearly Baltimorian
Our neighborhoods, so popular
That everyone competes
For the optimal locations
In the gutters and the streets
Condos for the homeless
Have been budgeted and planned
The cost for each apartment?
Nearly 700 grand
The ordeal of commuting
Has got even liberals mumbling
The gas tax is substantial
While all the roads are crumbling
It’s getting so ridiculous
That just the other day
The Clampetts loaded up their truck
And drove the other way
