After months of probing
And much rancorous debate,
The NY Times convinced me
Not to want my country great

This Russian case is crucial
It’s open and it’s shut
The camel’s back is broken
There’s no more slack to cut

Where once my spirits lifted
You’ll find them in the dumper
They’ll serve me now at Starbucks though
Cause I’m a Never Trumper

His kind of “can do” thinking
I now find so appallin’
And from my clouded vision
The scales have finally fallen

So name another counsel
And form some new committees
I pledge to only breathe the air
Of sanctuary cities

I’ll paste progressive slogans
On both my Tesla’s fenders
I totally believe
That there are 27 genders

My old friends thought, in Poland
That Donald gave a great speech
But now my ears are opened
And I recognize the hate speech

Promise me free college
I love it when you say it
Invent some new taxation
And I willingly will pay it

What need have I of worldly goods?
I’ve called my old attorney
And transferred all my assets to
Elizabeth and Bernie

I told my wife what I had done
Of course, she understood
She knows that they can handle things
Much better than we could

Obamacare is heaven
Its call is ineluctable
Give me fewer choices
And a bankrupting deductible

Republicans want me to die
And every one’s a liar
I hear you Chucky Schumer
And you’re preaching to the choir

How could I be so foolish?
My thinking so perverted
And all because of Russia
Call me, at last, converted