I’ve never been a lawyer
I don’t play one on TV
But some things in the law
Seem indisputable to me
The statutes are so cumbersome
Their purposes so vague
Malicious prosecutions
Can become a mortal plague
I’m really not a cynic
And I never like to grouse
But I commit three felonies
Each time I leave the house
You may think I exaggerate
But it can’t be debated
I left home with my tires
Insufficiently inflated
Because the tread is mushy
And it can’t support the load
In Jerry’s California
I’ve transgressed the penal code
And if this is a precedent
That’s relevant and citable
Everyone in government
Is certainly indictable
The Congress has employed
The wealth and power they amassed
Paying off the interns that
They sexually harassed
It doesn’t really matter
If it’s wrong or if it’s right
Their argument is that
They’re too important to indict
But in the present moment
As the calls for justice mount
If your name is Donald
Then that argument don’t count
It’s possible the President’s
More sinned against than sinning
But he is clearly guilty of
The high offense of winning
Allow me this occasion
For a moment that is teachable
If you’ve got the votes my friends
Jaywalking is impeachable
